Things have come to a pretty pass,

Our romance is growing flat.

For you like this and the other-

While I go for this hot pink squirrel bird bath.

Goodness knows what the end will be,

Oh, I don’t know where I’m at…

It looks like the two will never be one,

Something must be done…

I say, “Will you move the birdbath I painted to the front yard, please?”

You say, “If you paint it back to white, maybe”

I say, “White? Who do I look like? Life is too short for white”

You say, “It’s hideous! What are you smoking?”

I say, “But it has GOOGLY EYES! That makes it BETTER!”

You say, “What is it with you and Googly eyes?”

I say, “Googly eyes are the secret to true happiness”

Let’s call the whole thing off!

But oh! If we call the whole thing off then that birdbath will sit in the driveway on that tarp for eternity…

(With nods to George and Ira Geshwin)