Kiss My Aster

Swearing for Gardeners: Holy @#$#%#!

Hey, I’m ALL for trees. And I’m all for enthusiastically trying to reproduce oneself all over the place. Whoa, What?

It turns out that the garden I’m working on now is in the direct line of fire of a giant Maple tree. And now Mr, Maple is blowing his samaras all over my business. They are everywhere, I even found 2 in the dishwasher, somehow.

And when I saw them, I muttered, “Holy samaras!”

No. That’s not a Dusty Miller.
These are not the droids you’re looking for….
I bring home half dead stuff and try to nurse it back to life. I’m pretty sure these dang samaras are going to suffocate my struggling babies….
It’s the Chicagoland area’s best looking Black Mondo Grass, for reals
No. That’s not a Dusty Miller.
These are not the droids you’re looking for….
I bring home half dead stuff and try to nurse it back to life. I’m pretty sure these dang samaras are going to suffocate my struggling babies….
It’s the Chicagoland area’s best looking Black MOndo Grass, for reals

Yeah, I said samaras.

You may say helicopter, whirligig or @#[email protected]%$&^%#*&$, but I call them samaras. These winged seed packets are what baby Maples are made from. These samaras themselves don’t really bug me that much (a total lie), but Maple Babies drive me Nutella. Now is the time to carefully rake them out before they sprout, although I will admit to dreaming about ShopVac-ing them out.

It’d be a great application for a leaf blower, if ever there was one.

There isn’t.

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Comments

  1. natalie4b 05/27/2013

    Funny!!!
    I just came home from pulling gazillions of baby trees out of my flower beds, containers, in-between stepping stones, crevices of garden statuary, etc. I bet if I did not shower after spending a day in a garden, they would sprout in my ears. You can't stop mother nature, but muttering "Holy samaras" helps :)!

  2. farmerfanny 05/28/2013

    Feel glad that you only have one tree attacking you. We are surrounded by not only maples but trees w/the small round papery seeds. As soon as the gardens start to look nice they get covered by all those seeds. I tried the shop vac, vacs work on the little round ones but the maples plug the vac up right away. GRRRRRRRRRRR! I didn't get around to trying my Workx Tri-vac but it would probably work since it chews up what goes in to make it smaller. It would blow them out of the beds but you would still have to pick them up. But then the wind would blow 50 mph again and more seeds would be back. I'm already pulling up baby trees and walnut trees that the blankity blankity squirrels planted. GRRRRRR! I HATE TREES!!!!!
    That is that are in the wrong place, when they built our towns they put way too many junky trees into tiny yards. Trees aren't good for me when I'm trying to grow food.

  3. user-1020932 05/28/2013

    no maple trees here BUT i do have elms,,, the messy flower fallings, then the seeds which turn into oatmeal when it rains and now billions of little seedlings everywhere and just as i get those gone the chestnut tree will be flowering,,,,,,,,stinky for a week then those long furry catkin things falling on everything then no more tree battles until fall. it's always somethin

  4. pikl 06/03/2013

    I guess I'm a strange bird.I like pulling up stray maples and other spring surprises.The first spring after I bought my mid 20's craftsman home I pulled a 3-4 in Maple up from next to the foundation, looked at it and saw a beautiful tree that is now,4th spring later, proudly standing straight and 8ft. tall on the corner of my yard, overlooking the entrance of my driveway.

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