The Dirt

My bittersweet mistake


Trust me when I tell you that I am no Martha Stewart. I cannot make a peach
flambé. I cannot hem pants (which is really a bummer considering I’m only 5’3’).
I cannot perfectly frost a cupcake.

With that said, I do like to decorate for the holidays–not with neon plastic
eggs or anything, but some nice fall leaves and pumpkins in autumn. So last
year, right around the beginning of November, I noticed a lovely patch of
bittersweet vines growing on the edge of my property. Bittersweet is a beautiful
plant that gets covered with lovely orange and red berries in autumn. Hmmmm…the
perfect accent to my holiday festive décor, I thought. So I proceeded to wrap it
around my porch railings and shove pieces of it into my container pots.

Thanksgiving came and went and with it, so did my now tattered and weathered
bittersweet vines, replaced with evergreens and glittery bows.

I had all but forgotten about the bittersweet decorations until the following
spring when I started to notice these peculiar little green plants sprouting up
all over the place. I pulled them out, assuming that they were just some early
spring weeds. But they kept coming. And coming. And getting bigger. And bigger.
I finally realized that these were bittersweet babies, set on taking over
everything in their path, popping the siding off my house, and breaking in
through the windows in order to taunt me in my sleep.

It took me that entire year to win the battle against the bittersweet
offspring and unfortunately, we lost some innocent plants in the process.

So in the spirit of the holidays let me offer these tidings: Have a wonderful
Thanksgiving and stay away from the bittersweet.

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