A Gardener's Guide to Swearing

Amanda Thomsen, contributor

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The definition of this word doesn't techinically mean much until it has happened to you. If it has, you will understand why it's so loaded with emotion that it's of cuss-caliber. Here's the scenario:

I planted a lovely garden. I excavated the bed, ammended the soil, selected and purchased the plants and dug a half a zillion holes to plant them. I watered and fertilized them. And yet- those plants look like they'd cough up a lung biscuit, if they could. They look sad and embarrassing, skinny and weak.

I know I did everything right. I cut no corners, I spent money, time and sweat. One day I heard the neighborhood squirrels having a rave in the neighbor's yard and... Holy Juglans nigra. It's a black walnut tree.

There is plant poison in all parts of the stinkin' black walnut tree; the leaves that fall on my side of the fence in fall (and then can't be composted), the walnuts that the squirrels throw at my dog, the roots that can contaminate everything 50 feet from the trunk. Even if I snuck into my neighbor's yard in the middle of the night, dressed as a ninja, and cut it down- the toxins would last in the soil for up to 50 years...

The name of this toxin?

JUGLONE!

I now use this word for anytime I have my ducks in a row and it all falls apart anyways and there's nothing I can do to fix it. Try it. 

"Man, that meeting really jugloned up my day."

"The head gasket blowing on my car is such a pile of juglone."

"That guy like to make trouble- He's such a jugloner."

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Comments (8)

trashywoman62 writes: I recently visited a garden that had lots of plantings around their walnut trees and she told me about this website called Plant friends of the black walnut. Here is the link which may be helpful to those that have these trees. His list is from the American Horticultural Society of Mt. Vernon, VA.
http://tomclothier.hort.net/page43.html Posted: 9:54 am on September 15th

KissMyAster writes: @gardensweep- you CAN eat them.... but for juglone's sake, don't compost the hulls. Have them encased in cement or something! Posted: 5:13 pm on September 6th

gardensweep writes: I have that juglone problem in the back of may house, I would like to know if the Walnuts can be harvested and eaten,maybe something good can come of it. Any ideas? Posted: 11:16 am on September 6th

gardensweep writes: I have that juglone problem in the back of may house, I would like to know if the Walnuts can be harvested and eaten,maybe something good can come of it. Any ideas? Posted: 11:16 am on September 6th

cinmsla writes: My Dad and Step moms yard has been juglowned. Not hysterical to them
Posted: 10:46 am on September 6th

ippagoggy writes: So you could say you were...juglowned. (groan...I couldn't help it.) Posted: 6:46 pm on September 4th

sweetrebecca writes: Being a fan of the fine art of cussing, I'm thrilled to discover yet another choice word to add to my vocabulary. Thanks for the enlightenment and laugh, Amanda!! Posted: 11:35 am on September 4th

ROSEMMERRITT writes: that's hysterical! Posted: 5:19 pm on September 3rd

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